“Wake Up Moon Flower” Episode 1
I was born with an overactive crown (connection to the Divine). While it definitely made sure I would never stray too far from God, call it a cosmic leash of source, with a leash there was the risk that I choke myself trying to escape. God's grip on me is stronger than my will to run, and my loyalty to Him is stronger than my egoistic need for control. I learned to not only trust that God is in control but to want Him to be. I am still getting what I need by doing so and I don't hurt myself by resisting. We all have the choice to live life with passion and purpose, but only God knows how to make it happen for the highest good of our souls. It took many years of fighting my inner divinity and God to finally see why I needed His hands in my life.
The unconditional love of a parent held me in a warm embrace from outside space and time.
When there was silence, He was my song.
When there was a blackness like the darkest void, He was my light.
He was the love in my heart when my love was stolen.
I felt my source reaching out to me during times of my darkest struggles to pull me back home. These moments, call them “Tower Moments” or ego deaths, happen for me every ten years or so. If you are not familiar with the concept of a Tower moment or ego death, allow me to explain. In my own personal experience it was divine intervention saving my life from the path I was walking, because I was heading in a direction that would take me further from God and my highest good. I was walking the path of a wounded ego. In my case I was the people pleaser, co-dependent, hermit who felt the need to mask to the point of fading into the identity of whomever was more dominant in my relationships. Divine intervention came in the form of fights, broken trust, and if I was lucky, some good old-fashion ghosting. They were sudden, heart breaking losses and upheavals that brought me crashing down so badly that the only place I could turn to was God.
*In those times of such pain, I found another piece of myself lost in lives I didn't even realize I lived.*
When my life fell apart, it was to release me from whatever was in my life that was not good for me. My soul went through the same cycles before I was born here in my current life and until I can release myself from these patterns, I will continue to fall into them. Our souls are immortal, our souls have patterns and cycles. Our vessels are finite and tethered to a dimensional plane that is lower than our souls, but both still work towards the same destination. It's a cosmic game of Sims: you pick your incarnation's avatar and set goals, living your best Sims life. *Except you have free will turned on high and suddenly your avatar is setting the house on fire. Or your Sim-self is not listening to you and glitching out.* It's frustrating to have to start all over again in a new save file and a new avatar with the same goals in mind. My higher self and I are the same person, yet when I was first waking up to my inner Divinity, I kept arguing with her. She was right most of the time, but I was still stubborn to do what she told me to do. When I kept setting myself up for failure all I could hear was my higher self saying “Please, don't make me start ALL over again!”
*I can imagine now how many times my higher self gave me a direction in life and I went off towards my destruction and she just sat there screaming, “What are you doing? That's not what I told you to do.”*
*You are a Sim-self (hand crafted avatar) to your higher self and this life is all about following your soul's path while still having free will to goof off in between commands.*
The most difficult lesson for me to learn was to trust in God's unconditional love. My understanding of what God was did not reflect truth, rather it was a distortion based on fear. I think this is the biggest reason why I argued with Him and my higher self when they called to me. The distortions I was taught reminded me of all the relationships of my past that burned me and God had become another person who hated me, was angry with me just for existing. Fearing God was the first thing I learned about growing up in a conservative Christian community. I grew up feeling inherently unclean, unforgivable, and yet I still wanted to please my Creator. My soul wanted to have a personal relationship with my God, my divine self and love the world I was born into, with or without the promise of heaven. My vessel was taught to need God and obey Him or else swim in the lake of fire for all eternity.
*Hot take: It's toxic to tell children they face eternal damnation if they don't believe in God.*
To teach people to fear God is to teach conditional love. You cannot unconditionally love someone you fear. It's a transactional way of seeing the divine, the people of this world, and the souls who exist in it. *Do you “love” God because you fear going to Hell or do you love Him because you love Him?* Fearing someone who is in a higher position of power is a very humanistic way of viewing the Divine. It is a reflection of those in our world who use fear to control the population and becomes a justification of abominable actions. Since the beginning of human civilization, it has been a strategical advantage to have a distorted version of God standing behind you in times of war. Kings and Queens use God as a tool, to divide and conquer, and enslave the populations, while Prophets and Priests follow God to free the slaves.
My perception of what love was changed the closer I became with God on my terms. I stopped fighting myself and God the moment my ability to love became greater than my all my fears. It was an act of free will. A decision that I will never forget. There is nothing so amazing as to feel the love of God fill your soul and to trust that no matter what life give or takes, His love never leaves you.
To love God unconditionally is to be free.
To trust God is to be the eye of the storm.
Do your eyes see peace in chaos or fear in destruction?
Do your hearts beat eternally, or break finitely?
I pray that whatever path you choose is your own.
I pray you never forget to love yourself.
You are a heavenly reflection of cosmic Light.
~Moon Flower~
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